dimanche 5 juillet 2009

Fran


He was playing guitar on the couch when June introduced us. I could distinguish Paul’s features on his oval face. How did I not know that Paul had son?
Fran was bent over his guitar, tuning it. He was a reserved young man. He had short thin hair of the darkest sort, and dark fugitive eyes. His expression was this of a child, and yet there was something very noble about him. Possibly his aquiline nose.
Paul was lying on the damask divan across the room. He pushed his guitar aside and said: “you two are very close in age,” so I asked Fran how old he was. He replied with a soft masculine voice, without looking at me, without taking his eyes off the strings of his instrument. “I am 25”. “I am 24,” I said.
I sat on the carpet next to the couch for a moment. I would have liked to stay there with them. Listen to the father and son play guitar together. An intimate musical dialogue.
But I left. I felt like an intruder.
And as I left, I heard a voice rise and carry a soulful tune.

I woke up later that night and went to the kitchen to get some water. There was a dim changing glow in the hallway to the living room, where Fran was staying. He was watching TV. I could hear the indistinct murmur. I filled my glass with water and listened for a while. Should I go with him? I tried to think of a way to engage a genuine conversation, but could a midnight conversation ever be genuine? Colorful fantasies uprose in mind.
When I came out of the kitchen, red-faced and decided to talk to him, the living room was pitch dark.

Fran left in the morning. The sound of the gate woke me up. June told me: “Fran doesn’t talk much. He is schizophrenic.” I marked a pause; my thoughts were still clouded with sleep. Then the clouds dispersed and I felt my heart race. Schizophrenia...
“Does he visit here often?” I asked. She shook her long curls.
“He makes me uncomfortable, she added, I never know what to tell him.”

Oh...
As much as I wanted to, I didn't find the words either.

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